How does one downsize their parent's house when the parent though not living in the house doesn't want to let go of it?
Mom has been in an assisted living facility for 2+ years. She will not be returning to the house. She just isn't able to live on her own and be safe. She thinks otherwise and regularly asks me what I think about her going back to the house. Each time I explain why she can't.
I don't know what to do. I'm her Power of Attorney so I could arrange to sell the house, but that just isn't right. How can I get her to understand? Can I even get her to understand?
There are nights I lie awake with this on my mind. There isn't a good answer, I'm convinced of that.
I could move back and be her in home care provider so she could return to the house. But at what cost to my family? I live 3000+ miles away. I would miss my wife, kids and grandkids. But mom would be where she wants to be. Is that a solution or a guilt response?
There's no "right" solution. Mom will always want to be back at the house and believe she can live there. She doesn't see her limitations and the support she gets at her current home. She can't drive for shopping, she won't cook and prepare meals for herself, the house is too big for her to keep clean.
There are other concerns, finances, her spouse, other family members. What to do? That is my frequent thought. Being the "parent" of a parent sucks. I know I'm not alone with this dilemma. I sure it feels isolating for others who are experiencing it.
Know you are not alone. Doing what's best isn't easy and isn't obvious.
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