It isn't obvious

How does one downsize their parent's house when the parent though not living in the house doesn't want to let go of it? 

Mom has been in an assisted living facility for 2+ years. She will not be returning to the house. She just isn't able to live on her own and be safe. She thinks otherwise and regularly asks me what I think about her going back to the house. Each time I explain why she can't. 

I don't know what to do. I'm her Power of Attorney so I could arrange to sell the house, but that just isn't right. How can I get her to understand? Can I even get her to understand? 

There are nights I lie awake with this on my mind. There isn't a good answer, I'm convinced of that. 

I could move back and be her in home care provider so she could return to the house. But at what cost to my family? I live 3000+ miles away. I would miss my wife, kids and grandkids. But mom would be where she wants to be. Is that a solution or a guilt response?

There's no "right" solution. Mom will always want to be back at the house and believe she can live there. She doesn't see her limitations and the support she gets at her current home. She can't drive for shopping, she won't cook and prepare meals for herself, the house is too big for her to keep clean.

There are other concerns, finances, her spouse, other family members. What to do? That is my frequent thought. Being the "parent" of a parent sucks. I know I'm not alone with this dilemma. I sure it feels isolating for others who are experiencing it. 

Know you are not alone. Doing what's best isn't easy and isn't obvious.

 

The Portland Frog and John Prine - more ramblings

What do John Prine and the Portland Frog have in common?

I don't know. I'm listening to John Prine and watching videos of the Portland Frog and other brave cartoon blow ups harassing Noem and Trump's ICE masked desperadoes. 

I was brought up to respect authority. Don't talk back to your parents, don't disrupt a teacher, decision makers looked out for our best interests, preachers helped the down trodden (is that term even used now?). I wasn't encouraged to question whether those people/institutions deserved my respect. I learned that later.

I still struggle with my early indoctrination of acceptance to authority. I know what I believe, but there is a voice that remembers having the TV show All In The Family turned off because it was questioning the meaning of the American flag. Questioning authority was not allowed.

What changed? Leaving my comfort zone. First, away to college. Not following in the footsteps of those ahead of me. To the farthest place I could so I could continue my education academically and personally. I had to stay in state, so UE it was. From NE Indiana, to SW Indiana. On the banks of the Wabash, to the banks of the Ohio river. 

After graduating, moving to Colorado where I discovered not only the beauty and magic of mountains, but my ability to question what I had been taught, and learned that thoughtful meditation was important part of my evolution.

So what does this have to do with the Portland Frog and John Prine? 

The Frog is more obvious. He symbolizes the fight against repressive suppression of alternative ideas. We need the Frog to show the ridiculousness of armed and masked puppets here to stop a none existing threat. 

John Prine? I was listening to his song "When I Get to Heaven". It does not describe the heaven I was taught about in Sunday School or Sunday morning sermons. It challenges that each individual has their own view of heaven. 

My heaven includes people of all beliefs who showed their love for others rather than excluding them because of who they love, how the defined themself, whether they were "legal", who they worshiped. My heaven includes Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Native Americans murdered for the land we live on, Dietrich Bonhoeffer who was murdered by fascists for his faith in God, and others who may not have worshiped the God I grew up with but who have shown the Christian, Muslim, Bahia, Hindu, etc. love towards others that their prophets preached about.

 

Ankle Injury Ramblings

It would be nice to post something positive about running. Another ankle flare up. This time the left one was feeling neglected so decided to develop tendinitis due to some calcification along one of the tendons. The pain and swelling are finally, mostly gone, thanks to a daily mega dose of a NSAID drug and an ankle brace. If only there was a vaccine for aging ankles! 

So after pouting about it for a few days, okay, more than a few days, I'm back on an exercise routine. One that I hate, strength training. As I tell my beloved trainer, runners run. Her stupid reply is, yes and smart ones strength train. Sometimes I really hate her, but she is committed to my goal of running until I can't, and I think she's more determined than I am to see that the can't doesn't happen. 

So today was the first of that workout. I took it easy knowing that tomorrow and even more so the next day, I'd be sore. Build up gradually, same for building mileage. 

So, how about some fun stuff. 

Rachel and I spent the weekend RV camping at Kahneeta hot springs. Kasey and the grandkids came up for a night and we basically spent the weekend in the pool with breaks for mini golf.Too much fun spending time with those two. 

  Wonder what secrets they are telling Gramma?

I learned today that a childhood friend died earlier this week. I'm not close to many of my hometown or high school friends but he was someone I reconnected with on Facebook, like so many of us do, and he was as refreshing of a connection as he was a friend back in my early years. I hate it when the world loses good people.  

Sorry the fun ended so soon! 

I hate it when bad people exploit others, especially those whom Jesus would offer love and compassion.  This country is barely recognizable to the one I studied about and grew up with. It more and more resembles those we fought against. What has happened to the belief in the common good, when we support those in need, we all rise together.

 

I don't understand the hate that has permeated much of the country. I guess it always there, but suppressed? I see it in people who I've known my entire life, family members who I looked up to, but not now. I don't understand what caused it to surface. Why are people who are coming here to keep their families safe, have a better live, much like those on the Mayflower, so despised? They contribute to our economy more than they take from it. We accept automation taking jobs away, but hate that they take jobs away that we don't want to do, letting crops rot on the vines and in the fields. Oh, but lets go to other countries and spread the gospel that God loves you, only if you believe like us. Yet claim suppression of religious freedom when others want to believe in other ways here in our country. I don't understand it. It wasn't my upbringing, and I grew up in a conservative midwest small town.